I’d like to discuss some of the warning signs of an abuser. If you can recognize these signs before getting too serious, it can save you a lot of heartache in the future.
An abuser can be:
Controlling—at first you might think this is ‘sweet’ and think he just cares for you. Be careful. He may also control which family members and friends you see.
Possessive—again, you might think this is because he really likes you. It’s not.
Critical—he belittles you and makes you doubt your own decisions. He’s breaking you down.
Dominant—he may make all the plans. You don’t have a say. Don’t misunderstand this for being protective or taking care of you. It is not ‘cute’.
Moody—His moods are up and down and you feel like you’re ‘walking on eggshells’. Very stressful.
Angry—not just at you, but also others. He can lose his temper quickly.
Quick relationship—you become serious about each other very quickly. He says he wants to be with you forever after only a few dates. (Maybe even one.)
Disrespect—I’ve talked a lot about respect in previous blogs. It is vital for a happy relationship.
Has anyone seen these signs before in a relationship? Other signs?
Remember, if we can help just one woman, we’ve done our job. Have a great week!
Some of the information was obtained from the following books:
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He DO That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (New York, NY: Berkley Books, 2002).
Susan Weitzman, PH.D. “Not to People Like Us”: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages (New York, NY: Basic Books, 2000).