The holidays are a wonderful time of year, but can also be quite demanding.
Women who are dealing with custody issues can find this a stressful time, especially if there is a history of domestic violence in the relationship.
Some tips to make the custody transfer easier: pick up and drop off at a public place and follow a consistent schedule from year to year. Contact your lawyer if the ex-spouse stops following the court-mandated schedule.
Before separation or divorce, make sure to have a very clear written agreement describing the custody schedule that includes all holidays, birthdays, and vacations. No ambiguities.
If the relationship was abusive, an abuser will try to manipulate and control the victim through the children. One way an abuser will continue to abuse is through the time spent with the children. This can be prevented by having a solid schedule documented in a well written agreement.
Although it is very stressful when going through a separation or divorce when domestic violence is involved, it is crucial to get an agreement that both parents understand. The victim can’t assume the relationship with the ex-spouse will improve over time; the abuser will probably get worse right after divorce because they’ve lost control of their partner and are looking to regain it.
It is imperative to have an iron-clad agreement to stop further abuse in the future.
Be safe and have a wonderful holiday season and remember, if we can help just one victim, we’ve done our job!