Hello everyone!

Last week we discussed Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and the shocking statistics of teen dating abuse. I still can’t get over how widespread it is.

Children are little sponges who soak up everything around them, including learning behaviors they witness. Some children who are in a household where there is domestic violence act out aggressively in school and become bullies. Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.1 

We need to reach the children in order to stop the cycle of domestic violence.
Domestic violence prevention organizations, such as Betty Griffin House, have counseling services and primary prevention programs in place to try to stop the cycle before it occurs. Check with your local domestic violence organization. They probably have these services too.

When I interviewed Kelly Franklin, Outreach Director of the Betty Griffin House, she explained to me how these programs work. Educating school children is an important part of ending domestic violence. These types of programs educate both boys and girls about what acceptable behavior is.

Healthy and happy relationships are such an important part of our lives that it makes sense to take the time to teach children how to have good relationships, just as we teach them how to make healthy food choices and take care of their teeth.

We can’t think that our child is immune to this continuing epidemic. Domestic violence reaches across the entire economic spectrum, from the very wealthy to the very poor. Everyone is vulnerable to entering a relationship where their partner is not who they think he or she is.

The more educated a child is, the more opportunities they have. This holds true for educating them on domestic violence. The more educated they are, the more able they will be to see the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

Children can stop the cycle of domestic violence from continuing. Let’s talk to our children and educate them.

Thank you!

Katelin Maloney  

1 Strauss, Gelles, and Smith, “Physical Violence in American Families: Risk Factors and Adaptations to Violence” in 8,145 Families. Transaction Publishers (1990).  

Hello Everyone!

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

Do you know a teenager or tween?

Did you know these startling statistics?

Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth. (1)

One in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused. Two in five of the youngest tweens, ages 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in relationships. (2)

 
Is the situation worsening? It appears that way. Our children are getting hurt and abused. This sets them up for a lifetime of side effects. It is well known that victims of abuse are more prone to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, trouble sleeping, eating problems, further domestic violence relationships, and many more problems.

What are some early warning signs that could tell that your child might be in an abusive relationship?

Early warning signs include the following:  Is their date jealous? Do they text constantly wanting to know their whereabouts all the time? Abusers will put down the date, be unpredictable in their mood, isolate them from friends and family, be verbally abusive, and other characteristics. These abusive traits can escalate to physical abuse.

Eighty one percent of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue. (3)

I honestly hadn’t thought much about teen abuse and had no idea it was so prevalent. Abuse is often a silent crime that is not discussed. If a child or teen is in an abusive relationship, would they recognize the signs and know what to do?

What can we do about this?

Talk about it. Be aware. Talk to both girls and boys about dating abuse. Watch for early warning signs. Talk about respect—respecting oneself and other people.

Here are a few websites to visit to learn more about Teen Dating Violence:

www.loveisrespect.org

www.breakthecycle.org

www.teendvmonth.org

Let’s try to break the cycle of abuse by starting with our children.

Katelin Maloney

 

1 Davis, Antoinette, MPH. 2008. Interpersonal and Physical Dating Violence among Teens. The National Council on Crime and Delinquency Focus. Available athttp://www.ocjs.ohio.gov/TDVMonth/Interpersonal_Teens.pdf.

2 Tween and Teen Dating Violence and Abuse Study, Teenage Research Unlimited for Liz Claiborne Inc. and the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. February 2008. Available at>http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/pdf/Tween%20Dating%20Abuse%20Full%20Report.pd

3. “Women’s Health,” June/July 2004, Family Violence Prevention Fund and Advocates for Youth, Available at http://www.med.umich. edu/whp/newsletters/summer04/p03-dating.html.

 

Hello everyone!

I had the privilege of meeting with and interviewing Kelly Franklin, MSW, Outreach Director of the Betty Griffin House.

Betty Griffin House is a community based, private, non-profit organization that provides numerous services to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, ranging from shelter services to confidential counseling to legal advocacy with many other support services available. Betty Griffin House is located in St Augustine and serves all of St Johns County, FL residents. Click here for BGH services.  The organization was formed in 1990 by a group of community members who recognized the needs of the community.

Kelly gave me a tour of the facility and I met the staff, who are a dedicated group of wonderful people!

Kelly, thank you for agreeing to an interview. I really appreciate you taking the time to discuss Betty Griffin House. I’ve added the link to the complete list of services that the organization offers. It is a very impressive list!

Could you explain the process by which a victim goes through when contacting Betty Griffin House?

Our hotline is available 24/7.  It is answered by an advocate that is certified in domestic and sexual abuse advocacy and is available to provide confidential crisis counseling, information and referral, and safety planning.  The advocate will discuss options to the person being abused and offer our services as well as community assistance.

Betty Griffin House offers a wide variety of services.  About how many people are helped by the organization throughout the year?

Last year, we served 3,500 adults and children through shelter, outreach and our hotline services.  We also dedicate services to prevention, so we are hopeful that we have helped thousands more.

Does Betty Griffin House use education as part of the plan to stop domestic violence? Yes, we have two advocates dedicated to community education and two that are dedicated to awareness and development.  However, all of our advocates educate and work toward stopping domestic and sexual abuse in our community.  Last year, we held over 600 events including awareness events, community presentations, and primary presentations to students.  Anyone interested in having us share information on our services or the dynamics of domestic and sexual abuse can send me a request by email at kellyf@bettygriffinhouse.org 

So many people treat domestic violence as a ‘family issue’ instead of a crime. What is your response to the often heard question: “Why does she stay?”

Domestic and Sexual Abuse is everyone’s issue.  Everyone can work to stop it, but instead we often blame the victim and think that they have a choice to just leave.  It is important to realize when we ask questions of the victim’s behavior we really make the abusive person’s actions invisible.   We are saying the victim is responsible for the abuse and the victim is never the cause of the abuse.    We need to hold abusive individuals accountable.  It is not an anger issue, it is not a mental health or substance abuse issue.  Domestic and Sexual abuse is about power and control over another person.  It is preventable if we concentrate on holding the abusive person accountable and focus on educating our children on healthy relationships.

This is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Is teen dating violence a growing problem?

Yes, it is growing and as we advance in technology we advance in ways to continue abuse.  It is extremely important for parents to talk to teens.  Teens often view jealousy in relationships as a way to show love and concern.  However, it can turn into controlling and abusive behavior quickly.  Even if you are not a parent, you may know a teen and it important to discuss dating violence with them or link them to resources. 

Some websites with resources are:  

www.bettygriffinhouse.org

www.fcadv.org

www.fcasv.org

www.loveisrespect.org

www.breakthecycle.org

www.loveisnotabuse.org

www.cdc.gov/chooserespect

www.ncdsv.org

www.teendvmonth.org

www.vawnet.org

www.vetoviolence.org

 

What motivated you to become involved with Betty Griffin House?

I decided to become a social worker to do my best to make the world a better place for my children.  I became involved with Betty Griffin House when a professor suggested I intern with them.  There is so much work to make a social change that I could not leave.  Plus, Joyce Mahr, our executive director, the advocates and volunteers make it real easy to want to stay. Our vision statement is Peace at home…then the world.  These are words that inspire me to inspire others and keep me motivated. 

Is it hard to deal with the issue of domestic violence daily?

It is very difficult work.  It is difficult to know that so many people in the community are abused.  They are abused verbally, financially, emotionally, physically and raped.  It is difficult to see so many barriers to victims.  A big part of our advocacy is breaking down barriers. 

It is not only hard to work daily on the issues of abuse.  It can be incredibly rewarding to work with the adults and children that we serve.  They are so brave and I have learned so much from them over the years.  I also am amazed by the community support and partnerships that we have in St. Johns County.  There is no way the Betty Griffin House could do this alone and we are thankful that more and more people are getting involved.

What would you like to have readers take away from this interview?

We can end Domestic and Sexual Abuse in our community and the world.  It is a learned behavior about power and control.  We can educate our children to be respectful and be a role model for healthy relationships.  Please talk about it. The more we talk about it, the sooner a social change will happen.  Support us with your donations, time, and your voice!     

Kelly, thank you for your responses and for dedicating your life to helping other people!

Betty Griffin relies on government grants, private financial donations, household and clothing donations, their thrift shops and events to fund the organization. We can help by contributing financial donations and by donating furniture, clothing, and other household goods to Betty Griffin House. Shopping at the thrift stores is another way to support Betty Griffin House.

Their next big fundraiser is their 5K Run & Walk on Saturday, April 12th, 2014. Let’s do it! www.bettygriffinhouse5k.org

To contact Betty Griffin House: For emergencies please call the hotline at 904-824-1555, or the outreach services at 904-808-8544. The website is www.bettygriffinhouse.org.

I am amazed by all that the Betty Griffin House does. I believe in what Kelly says when she discusses community education and primary prevention as being key to stopping domestic violence. It is going to be a long process, with education and awareness as the drivers of the movement. Cultural change, the way we respect one another, and changes in attitudes will play a role in ending domestic violence.

Statistics show that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.*

Betty Griffin House’s motto is:

It Takes A Community to end Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. Be Part of the Solution

Will you be part of the solution to end domestic violence and sexual assault in your community?

Katelin Maloney

 

*Tjaden, Patricia & Thoennes, Nancy. National Institute of Justice and the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, “Extent, Nature and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey.” (2000)

 

Heather,

Thank you for agreeing to another interview.  A few months ago, we discussed Murder of Crows, your first middle grade book. I’m so excited to talk about your latest book, Kobi: Memoirs of a Mustang.

Can you tell me about the book?

Absolutely! And thank you for having me back.  Kobi’s story is that of a wild mustang who is rounded up by the government off of the Nevada plains, sent to prison, and then auctioned off.  He makes friends along the way, both equine and human, before ending up in a show ring, proving a wild horse has every right to compete against purebred horses.  One thing I think sets this story apart from other horse books is that Kobi tells his own story – from his own point of view.  You know exactly what he’s thinking as he’s running from coyotes and being halter broke by a prisoner in jail.

The book is based on the history of your horse. What do you want people to know about Kobi?

He is such an incredible animal.  When I first began training and showing him, people were interested in his story and said it would make a great book – I tend to agree! 

The Bureau of Land Management (BLM) rounds up the wild horses to try and keep their numbers sustainable.  It was through this program, I was able to add Kobi to my life.  To me, there is nothing better than hearing his nicker every morning.

How is this story special to you?

While the beginning of the book was pieced together from help from BLM based on Kobi’s freeze brand, the majority of the book was our journey together.  I was amazed by how many close minded people we encountered.  They felt because he was a mustang his only use was for slaughter, dog food, or something else gross.  So many people fail to see how incredibly smart these animals are – they had to be to survive on their own.

It’s also special to me because it includes my experiences with a formerly abused draft horse, Jake.  I felt I owed it to him, and other horses experiencing the same kind of abuse he did, to get his story out there and make others more aware of abuse that continues to this day.

What age group would be interested in this story?

This book is written at the mid forth grade reading level, so any upper elementary school student through adult.  There is something special about horse books that appeal to adults who either grew up around the majestic animals or always wanted to. 

The book cover is beautiful. 

Thank you.  I’m fortunate to have talented people in my life who are also willing to lend a hand to my projects.  Jean Drayovitch is a nurse at my school and also a very talented artist.  She created the cover art as well as the sketches seen throughout the book which are based on photographs of the actual horses in the book.  More of her talent can be seen at: http://www.jeandrayovitch.com/

How can we buy a copy of Kobi: Memoirs of a Mustang?

Kobi’s story is available on Amazon, both print version for $12.99 and e-book for $4.99.  click to buy Kobi: Memoirs of a Mustang


Last time, you discussed your future projects which included a four book crypto-zoological series.  Where do these books stand?

The first two in the series (Under Sapphire Skies and Beneath Diamond Water) are done – at least the first draft is anyway.  They are currently being revised and edited.  I’m hoping to be able to release them late 2014 or early 2015 with the other two books in the series (Within Emerald Forests and Across Ruby Fields) six to nine months later.

 
Thank you for your interview. Is there anything else you would like to add?

I’d like to thank you and your readers for their support. Also, the Kindle version of Murder of Crows is currently on sale for $.99 to celebrate Kobi’s release.  Thanks again!



Thank you Heather! I loved reading Kobi: Memoirs of a Mustang and I know everyone else will love it, too!

Have a great week everyone.

Katelin Maloney